The Suit

"I feel so empowered, and my 401k plan is doing better than ever!"

The Suit is an insidious and crafty beast. While some Seelie changelings attest that the Greater Suit is easily identifiable by his choice in clothing, the pessimistic Unseelie see "being a suit" as something more akin to a disease: a sickness that´s difficult to detect, yet highly infectious in an enclosed office.
Suits are masters of camouflage. Some are actually real people who are capable of setting aside their feelings and ethics for the sake of serving a wealthy company. (This variety can be identified by its plaintive mating call: "It's only a job! It's only a job!") Others are highly banal humans who define their identity by their job titles, define "loyalty" as unquestioning obedience, and justify their actions by their salaries. If an oil tanker crashes in Alaska, if someone in the Third World works low wages while making cheap goods for the Company, or some "cog" in the machine of a corporation is driven to drink by his dehumanizing job, that's someone's else's problem.

Habitat: Most suits hide in the fortress of their workplace from nine to five, but lately, this guideline has become less accurate. The "workaholic" will often stay at the office quite late, while the descendant of "yuppie scum" can carry out his duties anywhere thanks to the assistance of laptops, cellular phones, beepers and other similar devices.

Identification: Suit society requires elaborate rituals, many of which are performed for inscrutable reasons. Like a hive of bees endlessly dancing around each other in a hive or a swarm of cockroaches endlessly paying obeisance to a pile of dung, a team of suits slowly make their "dances" more elaborate as they gather credit in their bank accounts.
Some philosophical changelings insist on making finer distinctions between the species of suits. Can someone infiltrate a team of suits and still remain human? If someone isn't paid a lot by a corporation, can he still be a suit or is he merely a victim? Is the distinction between a "suit" and a "cog" merely a matter of salary? Some suits also show a sign of wanting to be human, such as organizing company volleyboll games, dancing to bad '80s rock and drinking cheap beer whilst wearing ties around their forheads, or insisting that they're just doing their job to support their families. Simplistic changelings respond to this ambiguity by kenning the Banality of a suit and acting on that guidance.

How imprudent of him to come into my freehold so brusquely! He wore a three-piece blue suit with a power tie and shoes fresh from a shine at the airport. He smiled, hoping I would trust him. Suits smile real well. He held out a business card and was eager to shake my hand. The briefcase he carried never strayed far from his side.
Behind him was his flunky. Yuppi scum. Doubble-tall non-fat vanilla latte and biscotti in his hands, laptop case slung over his left shoulders, pimk polo shirt, yellow sweater tied around his neck, tan slacks, loafers and thick-framed sunglasses. He smiled too. Or maybe he was just baring his teeth.
"Now about this children's book you've written," the suit said. "I think we can increase the sales of your book by using some creative marketing. When you've been in marketing, as long as I have, realize the potential of cross-selling. In exchange for a small percentage of your profits, this line of children's clothing of your company has designed is practically free advertising for your book!"
"Oh, yes!" his flunky added. "We'll make Mr. Bunny's happy day a classic in no time! We'll increase his visibility on the Recogniziability Index, streamline his appearance based on user surveys, and take a few of the more objectionable passages out. And look at the lovely prototypes we have of the jackets!"
"And the lining is made of real rabbit fur!" the suit continued. "Now, shall we discuss this over lunch? Im dying for a bite," he said.
So I bit him.
What can I say? The classics always work.

- Autmun, dreaming