söndag 19 april 2015

The Over-Protective Mother

"Don´t climb on that! What are you doing up there?"

The Over-Protective Mother shelters her charge from the "ugliness" of the world. By restraining and restricting her young from the world, she also inadvertently shelters them from much of the beauty of the world. Protective Mothers are nurturing and are known to childlings everywhere as potential guardian in times of danger, but Over-Protective Mothers teach their prejudice against the magical and mythical to their children.
This species has also been known to extend its activities to other children as well. It will enter its typical stalking ground and seek its prey: children whose mothers "obviously" didn't do as good a job of parenting as they have. They find childlings or other feral children and decide "what's best for them." The worst ones will try to infect their prey with their banal obsession to keep safe from everything, especially things that mothers do not understand.
Some mothers have even been known to tether their children to them with leashes or strap them into large wheeled conveyances to transport them from one location to another. If the child is buried under heavy winter clothing or within an elaborate conveyance, one can still identify the warder by her distinctive behaviors. The mother will often have an overly-concerned look on her face, which will often change quickly to a look of irritation or even anger if her narrow sensibilities are threatened. Her posture usually reveals her to be in a perpetual state of near-exhaustion.
In the wild, the easiest way to spot this beastie is to notice the frequency with which she chastises or restricts the activity of her prey. Over-Protective Mothers have been known to stalk the children of other mothers, wild children or childlings. Although most Protective Mothers will express ritual greetings when encountering each other in the wild ("Oh! Isn't he precious! He looks so adorable!"), they have been known to enter contests of dominance dependent on whose child is more precocious or attractive.

Habitat: The Over-Protective Mother can often be found on playgrounds and schoolyards, as well as public parks, zoos and any other gathering spot for children. Their preferred behavior is a supervisory one. They establish vantage points from which they can watch any area where kids might potentially have fun.

Identification: The Over-Protective Mother will often carry an excessive amount of materials to deal with any potentially dangerous situations her charge might encounter. Overpacked purses with Band-aids, Kleenex, duct tape and other exotic substances keep the predator well-supplied.

I have encountered a curious competition in a local hotel. Various mothers gathered together for the purpose of organizing a "baby beauty pageant." The contests of dominance were most severe, to say the least. The children were forced to wear exotic and unusual costumes and placed on display for prolonged periods of time. Such children are trained (possibly through the use of gratification reinforcement) to smile excessively. My childling friends have informed me that the most effective way to disrupt such gatherings is to resort to Little Rascals tactics: providing mud puddles to sully clothes, distributing bubbly soda to induce burping, and indulging in misbehavior to encourage similar misbehavior in the Mothers prey.

- Autumn, dreaming

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